As many people know, this past weekend was the Miss Lynchburg pageant. I didn’t write about it before because I was too focused on getting ready for it. Writing about it afterwards is difficult.
This was my tenth pageant this year. Living in
Unfortunately, that wasn’t in the cards. After my tenth attempt, I was first runner up. I supposed I should consider changing my life motto to “always the bridesmaid, never the bride” because that has certainly described my experience this year. Of course, many would say that competing so much has improved my self-esteem- and it has. But that easily cracks apart when pageant after pageant sets of judges have decided that I’m close but not quite there. It is both frustrating and disappointing that all my hard work just hasn’t paid off.
This is not to say that I am not grateful for all the wonderful opportunities and scholarship money that has come my way this last year. I spent my entire junior year abroad in another country, and competed in my first pageant only three weeks after moving back to the
Knowing that, however, means that I felt a slew of emotions on Sunday afternoon when my name was called as first runner up. Just like every other pageant, I wonder “what could I have done differently?” The winner was deserving, as usual, but why does it seems like I have to work and work and work and still never get there? I have two months until graduation from college, and I haven’t spent any time with my friends this year. I’m either working, competing at a pageant, or getting ready in some way for a pageant. I wouldn’t change that, but I almost wish I had known ahead of time that it just wasn’t going to happen for me; I have sacrificed all my time and energy and come so close.
It was a bitter loss to be in
On the bright side, I have met a whole new group of friends. I can honestly say that I know nearly every woman competing at Miss
Once the pageant was over, I held my composure. I warned my friends that if things went badly, I would be upset, largely because this was my last opportunity to get to Miss
That said, I am extremely grateful for the outpouring of support I have received all year long and especially after this pageant. I truly could not have come as far as I did without all the help, kind words, honest truths, and hugs backstage. Any young woman in
I could never hope to thank every person who has made a difference this year from directors offering helpful words to the group of RMWC alums who has always made me feel like family, to my on and off campus employers who have patiently given me time off and boosted my confidence to my group of friends who have set through endless pageants and waited anxiously to hear how I did. I could never thank my
As for me, my middle name may as well be determination. I’m not done yet. I have two years left after this one (thanks for making sure I was born on January 4 instead of December 29 as planned, Mom) and I simply refuse to give up. I have gotten so much out of this experience and I have come so close that I know I can do this.
You will see me soon J